Sunday, 13 October 2013

Giving a new meaning to the phrase 'cat burglar'...

I have an intruder. Someone that has taken to sneaking into my flat on a regular basis. All it takes is an unguarded front door, or a window left carelessly open, and he is in. I enter rooms to find this unexpected stranger making himself well and truly at home, without so much as a "Do you mind if I come in?" or a "Hi friend, you free to hang out?".  

He has no shame about attending to his personal toilette in the middle of my sitting room floor, regardless of whatever I might be doing, or whoever I might currently be entertaining.


Perched at the end of the bed, he has perfected his "You're really going out dressed like that?!" look. His furry stare of judgement is cast over each and every outfit I parade before him, smug in his own stylish, cashmere-soft, monochromatic ensemble.
He also fancies himself as quite the online expert, and loves a good session in front of/on the laptop.  In fact, he dictated this post for me to type up on his behalf - on account of his not having any thumbs. (And because he prefers to rest his furry bottom on the nice, warm keyboard rather than use it to write things.)
When I'm packing for a business trip he comes round to help me load up my suitcase. And to investigate any tasty treats I might have smuggled back from foreign parts.
And he gets just as excited about the arrival of my weekly vegetable box as I do. Although it's fair to say, for a very different reason.
Now, it's not that I mind this fluffy fellow coming round unannounced for a visit, but my feline intruder does have a home of his own to go to. And I wonder - as he rolls about in my laundry or waits hopefully next to my fridge - if he isn't being missed there. He actually belongs in the flat downstairs. But you try explaining multi-leasehold agreements to a cat. As far as he's concerned, this is his house. And he'll hang out in whichever bit of it he likes... 

10 comments:

  1. We have a black cat that seems to assume our garden is part of its empire. There's a couple of spots where it will hide, presumably on the off chance it can hunt a birdie or two. I think the feathered ones are wise to it.

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    1. Cats are just the boldest creatures aren't they? There's no telling them where they can and can't go.

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  2. Oh my gosh this is hilarious, he is so cute! I wish I had a cat that would come over, so jealous xx

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    1. He'd probably happily come to yours right now, Becca. I've got a foster cat living with me so he's not allowed in. He's taken to waiting patiently / pathetically on my doorstep...


      You can read about my foster kitties here: http://www.theaccidentallondoner.com/2012/06/accidental-resthome-for-unwanted.html

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  3. I thought you also had a cat? Maybe this cat can feel that you are a cat person? Because believe me, cats know they have to stay away from me...

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    1. Nope, no permanent cat anyway! I do foster cats from time to time for Cats Protection. But I've not got a garden so it seems cruel to have a cat who's not allowed out to explore...

      Cats are funny - they certainly know how to spot a soft touch, and also the people who don't like them. Apparently, they always approach people who don't like cats because those people don't look at them, and cats find direct eye contact threatening. Keep them away with a steely stare, Muriel!

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  4. I love this post! He's a cutie, and I laughed out loud at the idea of you "parading" potential outfits in front of him whilst he gives his best "You're really going out dressed like that?!" look :) But seriously, what do his permanent landlords make of all this?! Have you ever crossed them on the stairs and exchanged one of those "we both know what's going on with your cat right?" looks? Whilst he rolls around in your clean sheets... Brilliant post! xx

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    1. He's a sweetie. His owners have been away this weekend and he's been in and out loads - even coming in for champagne and nibbles with some visitors, who were surprised to see a cat snoozing on my sofa when they dropped by!
      His owners have admitted they know he spends a lot of time in other people's houses...they just roll their eyes, and say "yeah, we know, he belongs to half the street; we just pay the vet's bills!"

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  5. I do love how cats adopt you, and not the other way around. Have you read 'Caspar the Cat' a puss who liked to travel on busses? Such a cool dude.

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    1. Cats certainly know how to make themselves comfortable, that's for sure! Haven't heard of that book, Emma Julia, but will be sure to look Caspar up.

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